KRIS JASPER

The Brainy Van Dyke


I have a new bestfriend. Just before going to the gym this morning, I was channel surfing and somewhere I watched a show about how our Universe (could) have been created. The scientist who was narrating the show looked so cool... he was sitting on his wheelchair, his mouth didn't open nor move but I could hear his voice, he was still talking! He was explaining all these theories about creation, and the studies he had done. His IQ is freaking ace!


I think his voice was transmitted from his throat and was read by a computer in front of him, or something to that effect. And how cool is that? I remember him (my new bestfriend) coz I know he was given a TV award when he appeared on the Simpsons (yeah, that cartoon show).


My new bestfriend doesnt know me yet, but I know he will discover me soon... Coz we have this common bond. And it is called "INTELLIGENCE".
We intelligent people do not have to talk to each other. Only common, normal, ordinary people do that! We intelligent people communicate via our senses, via telepathy, just by looking at each other! So starting tonight, as soon as A arrives, I will just look at A's eyes and if A asks me what I am into now, I will explain everything just by rotating my eyeballs, or by openning and closing my eyes, or thru a smile, or a bit of touch. No Talking.. coz my new bestfriend doesnt... and he's a genius.. and Im a genius.. and talking is just for common, ordinary people.


Here's my new bestfriend

He is Sir Stephen Hawking. He was born January 8 1942... ( My birthday's December 16.. so another similarity between the 2 geniuses, that we both were born at Winter time).

Since he was young, he has always been interested in Science (another similarity between us geniuses).

During his early school years, he wasn't considered exceptional, just a good student. (Same as me, I was just a common pupil during my elementary years.. And look at me now)

Both of us are residents of the UK.

Hawking was elected as one of the youngest Fellows of the Royal Society in 1974 (I wasnt born yet during that time, so I was considered young as well in year 1974).

At the celebration of his 65th birthday on January 8, 2007 Hawking announced his plans for a zero-gravity flight in 2007 to prepare for a sub-orbital spaceflight in 2009 on Virgin Galactic’s space service (I, as well, am interested with zero... Coke Zero. And I also frequently visit Virgin Megastore to look at new Cds and DVDs.)

He is known for studying:

• Blackholes (me too! Im interested with that blacky thing).


• Theoretical Cosmology (well, if I can spell that thing out, I can surely study it)


• Quantum Gravity (I have put the words Quantum and Gravity in Scrabble before)

How scary is that?

You really cannot hide the similarities between us... 2 geniuses!

Sadly, my friend has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Hence, he is almost completely paralyzed.

I also had a Completely Ruptured Appendicitis when I was in High School.

That was also a 3-word disease.

Sir Hawking is my new idol. With our combined forces, we will rule this Universe!

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (evil laugh)

But of course, I first have to change my surname. My current surname's A_ BA _ _TE. It is actually spanish (coz my dad's grand dad was)... But I dont like to be spanish. Spanish are mostly tanned/dark skinned, and I dont like that. I want to be white, white like a snow... So starting later, I'll change my surname to Van Dyke... Kris Jasper Van Dyke. Hmmm... Nice... I like it... very white Euro-American.

And Finally,

To A, today... Happy half - decade!

Thanks for always, always supporting me, for being my spine. For the 5 years of friendship; for encompassing my troubles, comprehending my thoughts and embracing my moods.

It is actually nice growing old with you.