Saturday, 30 August 2008
27th of May 2003
Recently, I have not published anything that has reflected my thoughts, ideas and conceptions; nor anything that hopefully you, my readers, can learn from (yes, I do care).
I remember that when I started this site (I was still sane that time, independent from drowsy pills), I posted anything trashy and hoped that anyone with the same lunatic mind as mine can benefit off it; like that same feeling you have after reading a gospel or after closing the last pages of FHM/GQ magazines. I wanted this site to be a source of information like wikipedia or google.
I again want to exhibit products of my mental activities.
So this is like a re-commencing issue for me. This week, I will talk about:
SCHEME A 6 YEAR RELATIONSHIP (or more if you are lucky).
1. REMAIN MYSTERIOUS. This is a sound advice. If you want to ensure that the flame is still there, and still f*cking warm, try to maintain that mystery that made him/her interested with you. Change your fashion every season (I change mine every month, it's expensive but that's my way... and it is working). You dont have to buy expensive clothes. Just re-invent your self often. If those are longsleeves you're wearing now, cut the sleeves for next month. Then you'll have a new sleeveless shirt for that new identity you are trying to live out. You can change your hairstyle/hair colour every month (some people do it every week. Whatever you fancy, I wont argue). If you are wearing a long straight hair this week, make it curly next week. If you are bald, dont bother. Purchase some wigs if you have to, why not? Again, I will re-iterate MAINTAIN THAT MYSTERY.
If I may recommend my style, aside from clothes, I maintain that mysterious identity by seeking new behaviours every month. Who wants to eat same old sweet porridge for breakfast every day? Sometimes you want bacon, eggs, toasts, etc for breakfast, right? So what I do, I have developed multiple personalities. Believe me, this is an ACE advice. Sometimes I speak Chinese, sometimes Hindi/Punjabi, sometimes Paki, sometimes Afro, sometimes German, sometimes French. You can be anyone, even anything (pretend you're a robot-obedient, or a microwave -always hot, or a vibrating toothbrush-hmmmm...)
You dont have to know the language. Just learn at least 3 words from that exotic nation and familiarize the accent. If I speak English, I change my accent every week. Sometimes I pretend I can only do sign language. Isn't it attractive?
I remember that when I started this site (I was still sane that time, independent from drowsy pills), I posted anything trashy and hoped that anyone with the same lunatic mind as mine can benefit off it; like that same feeling you have after reading a gospel or after closing the last pages of FHM/GQ magazines. I wanted this site to be a source of information like wikipedia or google.
I again want to exhibit products of my mental activities.
So this is like a re-commencing issue for me. This week, I will talk about:
SCHEME A 6 YEAR RELATIONSHIP (or more if you are lucky).
1. REMAIN MYSTERIOUS. This is a sound advice. If you want to ensure that the flame is still there, and still f*cking warm, try to maintain that mystery that made him/her interested with you. Change your fashion every season (I change mine every month, it's expensive but that's my way... and it is working). You dont have to buy expensive clothes. Just re-invent your self often. If those are longsleeves you're wearing now, cut the sleeves for next month. Then you'll have a new sleeveless shirt for that new identity you are trying to live out. You can change your hairstyle/hair colour every month (some people do it every week. Whatever you fancy, I wont argue). If you are wearing a long straight hair this week, make it curly next week. If you are bald, dont bother. Purchase some wigs if you have to, why not? Again, I will re-iterate MAINTAIN THAT MYSTERY.
If I may recommend my style, aside from clothes, I maintain that mysterious identity by seeking new behaviours every month. Who wants to eat same old sweet porridge for breakfast every day? Sometimes you want bacon, eggs, toasts, etc for breakfast, right? So what I do, I have developed multiple personalities. Believe me, this is an ACE advice. Sometimes I speak Chinese, sometimes Hindi/Punjabi, sometimes Paki, sometimes Afro, sometimes German, sometimes French. You can be anyone, even anything (pretend you're a robot-obedient, or a microwave -always hot, or a vibrating toothbrush-hmmmm...)
You dont have to know the language. Just learn at least 3 words from that exotic nation and familiarize the accent. If I speak English, I change my accent every week. Sometimes I pretend I can only do sign language. Isn't it attractive?
In addition, maintain a complicated lifestyle. Remember last year, I was a vegetarian, later developed as vegan (which was short lived but I enjoyed it)? Now, I am a gym-obsessed, neck tie wearing, nearly mid-aged guy. A doesnt know what I'll be next month.. That's my mystery.
Change your name as well. Every Monday I tell A what I want to be called that week. This week my name is Kiddo. It's exciting, aint it? Though, more often A calls me Psyche. Aww... sweet.
2. BOOK YOUR DAYS OFF TOGETHER. It's straight forward. The family that prays together, stays together, Right? But you dont have to travel away on these days off. Make a project in your home for the 2 of you. With us, usually I ask A to cook new menus and I will do the taste test (It is actually hard to be in the front line, you know what happens to guinea pigs in some experiments?). Or sometimes I suggest to A that we can do the laundry for that day, I will put all the clothes in the washing machine then A can do the ironing. See, it's not that hard. All you need is teamwork.
3. PRETEND YOU ARE NO LONGER INTERESTED. This is actually my favourite. It's like a blackmail thing. The idea is based from reverse psychology. If things did not occur the way you wanted it to be (like he/she missed that movie date coz he/she had to stay at work, or you were supposed to have that advice #2 on top but didnt happen), tell him/her that you need space and you need to re-evaluate if his/her existence is still important in your life. Who needs spontaneous breathing when you can depend on life support system? Try to trigger ignorance to sex(again I typed the word PRETEND). IGNORE him/her for half a day; I repeat, only half a day (like 8am til 12pm, 1pm max). If it goes beyond 1pm, he/she could have thought of something to be on the offensive, like YM chatting , or a DVD marathon. You'll end up being ignored. You dont like that, that should not happen. It should be the other way around. But if that happens, #4 might shock you:
4. MAKE A SCENE. SHOUT. BE A SUICIDAL PSYCHOTIC. This I have not attempted yet as I havent reached this stage (but with the way things are going, Im nearly there); but just in case, ensure that you know your limitations. This is just to SCARE him/her and not to make him/her your widow. Be reminded that this must be used as your offensive weapon to re-hook your partner, and not as your last resort to save that failing relationship. There's a difference. Dont be a loser.
5. PASS THE BUCKET, SOMETIMES. Be a parasite. Show him/her that you are glad he/she is in your life. BUT DO NOT OVER DO IT. Overconfidence in their part is dangerous. Just in case, it can be remedied by practicing advice #3. I have a friend who has been too dependent with her partner that her partner got too proud and used that emotional blackmail against her. Bad Mistake. I pass the bucket to A by:
a. I cant reach my back, so I always tell A to massage my back.
b. Im always mentally tired coz of work, so A always does the housechores.
c. Im always afraid to be left on my own, so A has to be in this apartment before 9pm. World War 3 starts when this does not happen. See? the possibilities are endless....
6. NEVER BE YOURSELF. I know. Why? Comm'on, we always say that we are sinners and not perfect. If I am your partner I will not accept that stupid expression. I will be appalled. If I have tried to be perfect for you, unfortunately, I will expect the same off you. How can I grab your arse if it's too large? How can I sleep in peace if you snore? How can I smile if you smell? I will stab you in the eye. You will have to do something, no excuses.
Amazingly, these are just the basics. They were not that bad, innit? They are not rocket science, anyone can surely follow them. They have worked for me, so I thought of sharing them with you. But saying that, I am a complicated case, oh well....
So, seek your doctor's advice before adhering to these advices.
33 comments:
1. REMAIN MYSTERIOUS- tsakto ka gid. dapat di mo magsugid tanan bput you kay it will be a ground against you someday. May friend ako nga open book gid. pati position ya ginasugid. lol.
2. BOOK YOUR DAYS OFF TOGETHER- okay ni. pero di na effective sa akon. nagaka disappoint ako nga magplano tapos di madayun. ginahambal pero wala man ginaobra. I can say okay. am passive. Basta may teamwork, i agree with you.
3. PRETEND YOU ARE NO LONGER INTERESTED- kis a katalaka gid man. especially if you both are doing the same thing, same what?! back sa number ni nga advice mo. Effective gid man ang pag ignore. pero kis a it will end up sa away. Basta ako if I don't talk, just ignore me. lol
4. MAKE A SCENE. SHOUT. BE A SUICIDAL PSYCHOTIC- lol. gin apply ni bala sa akon. at first daw nagpati man ko. di manamo. several times gid ya with 3 different persons. lol. later number 3 ang gina apply ko everytime mag amu ni sila. lol. makapamatay ka man bala. go... tapos ginhimu ko ni nga rason. like, hambal ya ano gusto ko mga himuon ya para magbalik lang ko sa iya. hambal ko, panginmatay ka...
5. PASS THE BUCKET, SOMETIMES- I am more like this. Pero I realized na nga bad ina sa part ko. lol. dapat fair. kag dapat never ka gid magdepend sa iya even sa mga friends mo. sa tatlo ko ka relationship, sila ang dependent. so, budlay sa ila mag overcome dayun. It's not my lost then.
6. NEVER BE YOURSELF- all i can say, you will be used to the situation. Budlay mangin perpekto pero maperfect mo ang tanan, maperfect mo gani ang exam. All i can say is, i get it, am not perfect(for the first time) lmao.
afterall, this post is effective. pareho sa a very special love. this site is not just fashion, krisjasper.com can give tips too.
congrats! happy 5 years of mysterious relationship. keep it up!
Im gon to bookmark this entry. for future references! LOL. nice one kris! your fave is my fave too. :D
sus yan. relationships could sometimes be arduous to maintain. i'm not taking this post at face value, though. gaya nga ng tawag ng A mo sa iyo, it's peppered with your unique type of "psyche" wit. hahaha
so i guess it's safe to say that NOT becoming overly familiar with your mate is the key to a long lasting partnership.
i really get annoyed kapag umuutot si sarge in my presence. that should be reason enough for anyone. haha
mas mabuti na ang mga post na tulad nito. kahit madalang, marami namang laman. marami matututunan. iyong sinasabi mong mga post ko na marami, ala namang laman lahat iyon, e. dig? hehehe.
tama lang na ganun. if you can't have a mysterious side, try to innovate and reinvent yourself. para daw hindi nakakasawa di ba? ahehe!
congrats! 6 years! wow!
Tnx 4 mostly agreeing wid those borderline schizo advices. I was worried @ 1st so i changed d comments settings, but my site has been effy again.
I dnt knw why those comments 2 b moderated are not in my dashboard?
Thus I'm scraping how to survive the condition, Hmmmm do you think positivity makes sense?
The only sprout of hope I have is when I see bins to throw my garbage into.
asan na yun..
ibang comment section siguro yun..
kung mas maaga lang siguro tong post mo manager baka nasave ko pa yung relasyon namin noong naghihingalo pa lang hindi ngayon patay na..
sana magkasama pa kayo ng matagal ni A. :D
Hav u read mccain and obama's credentials?
I did, and that helpd me decide.
But anw, tnx 4 visiting.
Well, you know what.... You're so lucky to have that relationship.. Haha! Kasi kung icocompare mo sa akin... Pinakamatagal na 'yung 5 months... Keep it up!
---> works wonders.
and by the way, redlan said it all... so i echo what redlan says. hihi!
you got it dude, it's a source of info.
thanks for sharing!
keep posting!
2. Make sure that he loves you MORE than you love him...
I coined these two coz it's basically from my experience and here I am enjoying 6 yrs of marital bliss :)
wishing you well xxx!
i disagree with 3.
but i love 4. making eksena! it works! ;)
I remember your first few months in the blogging buzz... so I'm happy to see you grown much, hehe.. as if I'm the older guy here XD
Cheers!
"Change your name as well. Every Monday I tell A what I want to be called that week.">>> aba astig to ah. kung sa akin siguro, malamang pangalan ko ngayong week ay "antok".
PRETEND YOU ARE NO LONGER INTERESTED. >>> hehehe... daming gumagawa nito.