KRIS JASPER

And I am back!

So it was mid this week when I accompanied A to London (again!). A actually went to US embassy and was given 10 years visa (which spells bad news for me. It's a looooooong story. No, I am not jealous; I could go to the US anytime but It's a looooooong story why). Oh well, as I had 4 hours freedom, I didnt know how to kill it initially, although I had few options:

1. Shop.
2. Deliberately injure myself and stay in hospital (think of free food and lodging).
3. Spend time in streets of London, hope that somebody might take notice of my good looks, kidnap me, tie me, enslave me, abuse me til I see no glimmer of hope.
4. Spend time in streets of London, and simply take photos like a normal human would do.

And I settled with number 1 and number 4.

But stopped after buying trousers from TopMAn, a scarf from River Island and a hoodie, winter jacket from H &M, I thought if people see me with a lot of bags, they might think I'm a tourist. I am not a tourist! I am a resident of this great country. I maybe Oriental looking, but I am not a tourist!

Equipped with my day rider card, my flask filled with green tea, PSP, a book that says "How to Relax and Take Control of Your Life", N95 and 7.1mp Olympus, and my cards of course... I am ready to walk the streets of London. I love London. People walk fast as if they care about something.

Journey starts by riding a tube train. But while pretending to be a local Londoner, while standing inside the tube as all sits were taken, while pretending to read my book that says "How to Relax and Take Control of Your Life" by Lynda Field while holding a flask, pretending to drink from it occasionally, I realized that if others see me reading it, I am making the non-obvious as very obvious. I dont want to appear like a geek loser by reading that book that says "How to Relax and Take Control of Your Life". So I closed my book and shoved it in my bag. And again, my HALLUCINATION of "people might be talking about me" sunk in, and I let that dictate and influence my actions again.


But my poor, pathetic life had seen a small glimmer of hope when 3 tourists asked me to take their photos.. That means they assumed, though maybe only a small percentage, that I am a local Londoner, that they could trust a local Londoner. A request to which I gladly obliged. Let's face it, GB's economy isn't considered excellent recently, so we need the monies from these foreigners to sustain the economy.

That's the London Eye.

Aint sure if Im seeing dead people... But he sure looks familiar.

It was past mid-day so I ate. Local Londoners eat, so I have to follow. So off I went to McDonalds. While in queue, I heard this girl from presumably an Eastern Europen state (aint sure if she's a tourist, or was promised of a better life if she'd only come to England and clean toilets).. Anyway this is what she said "Maniyoteroskos ambibzuzgos tegera". Now, now, my paranoid mind was stimulated and I wondered if she was slagging me off because she was looking at me while saying it. Can anyone translate that sentence for me please...

And that's the House of Parliament.

Next stop.... Green Park.

Five minutes walk...

Then Buckingham Palace.

A black woman asked me to take her (and her family's) photos.. Again that's fine with me, but she requested for me to do it FOUR fucking times! And all for free!

And when I asked her to reciprocate and take my photo, she only took one coz she said she was in a hurry! That bitch!

Later, after this photo was taken for me by that bleeding woman who was in a hurry, A phoned and told me the "good news". Sigh.... It means bad news for me actually. Then we met in Central London for some sushis. We were supposed to meet my College classmate but he was still in the hospital, having a rectal exam (kidding). Maybe next time...

Anyway, I have read this in that book that says "How to Relax and Take Control of your Life" on it's cover:

"Your relationship with yourself is the most significant and important relationship you will ever have"

Great. How deeply appropriate for someone like me who loves myself TOO much. I hope I could read a book about things I DONT KNOW YET and not about freaking things I already knew.

I think I have been robbed by the author.