KRIS JASPER

A Boner for Vajaynah.

As I feel low this week, allow me to do my therapy...
KJ's Literature.
And today's product is another short science fiction story (for ages 1 and up).

Term: I Ate Her.

The year is 3009 A.D.
1000 years after the country called Goldenpubes had sunken under the ocean's floor as their president promised them change, but (or should I say, hence) due to his poor leadership, their country, together with their economy, has gone down to the ocean's trenches.

3009 A.D.
The most powerful country in the world is the Peoples Republic of Vajaynah. Their president,
John O' Boner, ordered his cyborg friend (Voltes Fat) to travel time and space to try save Goldenpubes by encouraging John's great-great-great-great Aunt, Sarah Paleyn O' Boner, to run as President of Goldenpubes. It was rightly noted that week that Hillary Cuntlong left 18 million cracks in the highest, hardest glass ceiling in Goldenpubes but it turns out the women of Goldenpubes aren't finished yet and they can shatter that glass ceiling once and for all by electing Sarah Paleyn O'Boner as their president.

3009 A.D.
The leader of the opposition, Az Wang, upon hearing John's plan, also decided to send his Robot General: Data & Intelligence Computing Knight (D.I.C.K.) into 2008 AD to give financial and security aid to ensure the victory of Dakakis Blak. Dakakis in 2008 will run as president of Goldenpubes, and D.I.C.K's goal is to help Dakakis win, inform Dakakis to make friends with their foreign enemies and terminate Sarah.

2008 A.D.
D.I.C.K has found Sarah's location. Sarah is in this little town of Cliths in that state called Alascunt and at that time she is helping the Eskimos build igloos. DICK aimed his throbbing weapon direct to Sarah's head, but before he could release the contents of his weapon, Voltes Fat had thrown 10,000 tons of Hydrogen Peroxide to DICK and that made him soft and floppy.

Before exploding, DICK managed to throw a piece of his soft and floppy material and it hit Voltes Fat's eyes and made it itch. Instinct took over and Voltes Fat brought his right hand towards his right eye to scratch it... he forgot he was holding a knife so he accidentally stab his head, consequently it damaged the chip inside. Voltes Fat died.

(play sad music)


November 2008 AD.
Election time in Goldenpubes. Dakakis has been consistent in his campaigns and lies, plus the golds and monies given to him by that robot called D.I.C.K (sent by Az Wang), he won the election. Unfortunately, it is already written in the stars... For Dakakis to win, and for Goldenpubes to submerge right into the ocean floor.

Sarah retreated to the mountains of Alascunth. She vowed that she'll run again after 4 years. She doesnt know that within 7 months, Goldenpubes will be covered by the oceans and seas.

June 2009 AD.
As the new President of Goldenpubes, Dakakis Blak invited all their country's foes. The presidents of Pushia, Heran and Fakistan, Members of AL Quasa, Oh' Shama, Cristy and Mommy Rose.

On that tragic night, while all those mentioned above are drinking Sprite and Redbull, while eating Chippy, Granny Goose and Mr. Chips inside the Darkhouse (Seat of Power of Goldenpubes)... While Dakakis Blak is in the toilet doing a number two, Mt. Butt exploded (read here), Mt. Butt is only 5 kilometers away from Darkhouse. Mt. Butt's powerful and gigantic explosions caused that great country of Goldenpubes to submerge underwater.

Mt Butt did not just kill the people of Fatsy Butt, but also of Goldenpubes'.

The End.

photocredits: Google Images