KRIS JASPER

So it was Saturday,

I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't stand, I couldn't walk, I couldn't eat.

I was not sick, it was actually a normal day for me. I just couldn't be bothered to move, why should I? It was freaking freezing! So like a snake, I thought of hibernating (It's almost winter anyway).

Which is fine with me, I was brought up sloth and idle.

Not that I'm moaning really, I will never challenge my parent's parenthood skills.

I have been quiet last week. Each second has been a disappointment, each moment is like being kicked in the ass, each minute feels like someone has been spitting on my face, each time I wake up is like a breath flushed in the toilet. I hate winter, but what can I do, it's something that this world has to experience even before I existed, I just hope this world will change it's mind next year.
Why cant I have Spring, then Summer, then another Summer, then Autumn, then Spring?
CAn somebody please tell me how to train the weather...

Winter re-inforces my forced existence. I just couldn't be bothered with anything, neither can my heart feel a thing. Being at work for 9 days straight hasn't helped as well. So I maintained my silence before I offended anyone. I treated everyone as my enemy, I imagined I am a monk and I have no friends.

I was a person who didn't trust anyone, not even A. I couldnt eat A's cooking as I might be poisoned, I couldn't sleep beside A as A might strangle me, I couldn't even trust my medications as A could have swapped them with poisons. Everyone was my enemy, I could only trust one thing, and that was the mirror in the Nursing Home. Because in that mirror, everytime I look on it I only SEE ONE gorgeous, innocent being....


ME. (ahem)

I reckoned if I maintain my stillness, my fortune would change. I refrained from talking to people who claimed they "love life"... If they love life so much I can always give them mine.
I stopped giving to charity last week; as Charity begins in me, so I donated my money to my own personal account instead... I was a person who did not practice chastity (I never did anyway, but for the sake of this post I typed that). I held back myself from talking to people who appears to have enjoyed life. They are dangerous: they have passed infancy, had learned to walk, maybe had finished school, maybe is working... But they have not developed the sense of judgement and reasoning. I spent more time with people who are like me... Sedative Dependents.

Last week, I became a person who lived life opposite to what is norm (WAIT A MINUTE. SO MUCH WITH THIS DRAMA.... IT's NOT ONLY LAST WEEK... I HAVE BEEN LIVING LIKE THAT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SPAN!).

If I can only give an advice.. an advice that all of you naive people will follow, this will be it:

Everyday that passes is a new low, you might undergo it with truimph, but you will again face another set of 24 hours after conquering the previous 23. And in this battle, it is absolutely necessary to consider who you fight it with. Never trust anyone, as they might be fighting for you, in front of you but when you are not looking they might stab your back with a sword incubated with tetanus. No one in this world is meant to be well. And that doesnt count you out.

Never delude yourself that in this lifetime you had a blast, because that 45 minutes of euphoria you had yesterday is just a compensation for your lifetime's worth of misery.

And yesterday was Sunday. and on that Sunday I was a thug.

On that Sunday, as I had Auditory Ossicles ache so I swallowed 4tabs of 500mg Mefenamic Acid, 2 tabs of 200mg Ibuprofen and in the evening I had 4 tabs of 500mg Paracetamol. Obviously all of them were taken separately and not altogether. I still care for my liver. I took Mefenamic at 2pm, Ibuprofen at 6pm, and Paracetamol at 10pm.
See, I do follow the 4 hourly freaking thingy. And I waited for 6 hours before I swallowed my sedative. I'm such a good boy.



(I actually did not have the time to sculpt my hair with a hairgum so I covered it with a hood). Look at me down there... it's me, not Sam Concepcion:




And today's Monday. After 2 hours sleep, I transformed back to the old me... The old me who likes life, I like life so much that I want it to finger me.

And I will be looking forward to Wednesday. A wants to be useful and A will take me to the movies. I like A so much that I want A to...