KRIS JASPER

Our tree has only silvers as decors, no other colours. And there you see Husky guarding my first 3 gifts of the season.

You might hate me for writing this, not that I care. These are writings of a man who had survived trials and difficulties, you are very lucky I am sharing these things with you.
I have told you advices how to hold on to your relationships and how to be popular; now as part of the series, I just would like to give another set of advice, advices that you like to read but hesitant to follow.

HOW TO GIVE MEANING TO YOUR OTHERWISE MEANINGLESS CHRISTMAS.

It's this time of the year again where we have to pretend that we are all friends. We walk with a painted smile on our face even though our heart is dying and our emotions are as dark as Halloween. But just because you are the lowest creature and may not be a valued member of society, you can still pretend you are glad that this season has come and you can, at least for a month, halt that bleed in your heart.

BUY YOURSELF THAT GIFT. Imagine if January comes and you still have not received that precious thing you're dying for since 2008 started. If it is something expensive, go buy it yourself! With this economic crisis pallovahs, do you think your neighbour will buy it for you? It is survival of the fittest these days. But then again, why buy an expensive gift? Just because it is expensive that doesnt mean it will make you happy. Just buy 10 paracetamol tablets and overdose yourself on the morning of Dec 24. Then if you survive, your family and friends will be all around you... caring for you, then you can all have an instant Noche Buena in the hospital. That is if you survive.

LEARN HOW TO COOK/BAKE. You might be lucky, if you'll learn how to cook like Jamie Oliver or Nora Daza . You can impress other people if you know how to mix leaves with dough and throw them in the oven. If you are flattered, you are happy. Do the math. Also, you can create a concoction for mass murder. Why be the only person who is sad this season? Share your misery.

BE EMOTIONALLY DEAD. Let's face it, the less expectations you will have with your life, the less disappointed you'll get if things turn out not the way you want them to be. So this Christmas, instead of asking your boyfriend for that Diamond ring, might as well ask him to buy you a loaf of bread. At the end of the freaking day, you cannot eat Diamonds, but you can eat bread. (I know some of you will say "but you can sell Diamonds"... please go away, you have not develop your cognitive ability yet... WHO WILL BUY DIAMONDS NOW THAT WE HAVE GLOBAL ECONOMIC CRISIS? HELLOOOO!!!!). So if you are emotionally dead, things like that will not affect you. Start now, the earlier you become spiritually numb, the better for your existence.