Kris Jasper and The Day Kris Jasper's Stomach Stood Still.

I haven't done this for nearly 2 weeks now so I hope I can still pull it through. Here it goes....

And last Tuesday was still Tuesday.

My theory that my life is being stalked has been confirmed last Tuesday morning cause someone buzzed in when I was busy minding my own business in our apartment. When I asked who it was, she asked if I could let her in for a FREE bible study.

A FREE BIBLE WHAT????!!!!

That has just made me feel depressed more. I know Im a freaking sinner but I didnt know my neighbourhood could smell it. Besides I was watching Disney Channel that morning and that channel shares good lessons for us kids anyway so I just told her via intercom "SORRY, SPEAK NO ENGLISH!"

Also, on that cold and gloomy Tuesday afternoon I still went to work. And @ work I wore my TopMan bootcut jeans, blue and green brace, purple long sleeved shirt, Doc Mart's boots and my geeky eyeglasses.


At 10pm, I went straight to the city centre to fetch friend Mimi. In the tram on the way to the apartment, friend Mimi and I noticed a young lady two seats away from us and she was talking and laughing even though no one was actually beside her.

It didnt really actually bother me coz I "sometimes" talk to myself when Im bored. Unfortunately that freaking lady was loud, so all eyes were directed to her. I got jealoused at first coz Im often the centre of attention but never mind.

It's either that lady was high during that time, or she's a psycho who escaped off the hospital.

But as friend Mimi had pointed out, everytime she jumps off her chair, she giggled! So it might be as well that she had an active vibrator between her ____________!



My new look this week is called Depressed Geek; Im trying to live up to the new look so I didnt shave.

And yesterday was when I met the mayor of Sandwell. Yesterday was when I lost my Nationality as a Filipino (but I'll re-gain it soon!). The mayor was nice. He's old and boring, but nice. And that's all I can tell you about him.

The best thing that happened to me yesterday was not me becoming British, but Ive discovered that I can eat 5,000 calories and survive the day.

My June 10, 2009 Breakfast: EAT ALL U CAN cookies

My June 10, 2009 Lunch: EAT ALL U CAN Lunch at Big Wok.

My June 10, 2009 Dinner: EAT ALL U CAN BBQ at Dragon BBQ.

Sadly, coz my morals and standards have gone down, I ate. I ate and forgot to spit.

Friend Jen, Albert and Jhoms joined us yesterday.

And last night I wore my black TopMan shirt, B/W brace, grey trouser and Blue and white Chuck's. I looked like a Korean Eli Buendia. Then all six of us went to Dragon BBQ.

In Dragon BBQ, somebody looked familiar. Somebody looked like _______________, the EX Sports Therapist in Fitness First (remember?). But nah, last night was more hotter (let's call that person Dragon Vampire). I wont mind going back to Dragon BBQ again to see Skinny Dragon Vampire.

At around 11pm we dragged ourselves to Broadstreet, which as you know is where the bars are mostly situated. And one of those clubs is Risa. Risa has a good reputation, but that reputation was nowhere to be seen last night. But it's fine, coz for the 3rd time I'll remind you that my standards had gone down anyway.

So to help burn those calories, I danced. It may sound effortless but believe me, it wasnt. Surrounded by smelly kids, fat bitches and drunk bastards, I have been stepped on, pushed, hit, elbowed... I maybe stupid and shallow but I can feel pain too you know. But it wasnt any specific person's fault as the dance floor was packed and the DJ was playing beat like we were Neanderthal hunters looking for preys...

Poor music, cluttered environment, smelly air... my standards and ego has submerged down, lower and deeper than Marianas trench. I felt depressed, but I loved it!

Then today we watched Terminator 4. And it was just fine. T2 is still the best for me. That's because my original twin is in there, Edward Furlong. I might feature my original twin soon.

Anyway, I haven't been to the gym for more than 10 days now. Im getting chunkier and my standards are getting low. I guess vomitting aint enough.


BOO!

Kris Jasper.