Kris Jasper and the Jacket of Hitler

14.00 hours. My A and I went inside that shop called RiverIsland and there I saw him (MJ- Military Jacket). He was calling me, was inviting me to lift him off the rack, feel him, walk towards the counter, pay for him and bag him home.

But it was a bit tight. Next size, Medium's loose. Small was tight. If only there was small and a half then my problem's solved. But no, fashion gods were punishing me... Only because my underwear was blue and my shirt was black that day.

with a heavy heart we moved to TopMan.

1440 hours. TopMan's the store for those who wants to look like expensive trash. This seemingly "trendy" store's unreasonably overpriced for their quality. Ive learnt that the hard way.... Jeans ripped, buttons popped. But that wont stop me from going in... As told, Im an expensive trash.

But TopMan's military jackets look boring. I saw one knitted light gold cardigan that I liked but seems like its buttons were hanging (by a thread). I dont want to waste my £45.00 that way. I tried their blazers, jumpers, etc. But all throughout, my mind was with RiverIsland's MJ.

1520 hrs. GAP was next. But Gap's usually oversized for me. Unfortunately Im not an American obese that Gap usually caters its services... and so we went.

1535 hrs. Debenhams. But Im not yet an impotent elderly... Debenhams are usually for those who were born a decade after the 2nd world war... so again we went.

1550 hours, Selfridges, but I dont want to pay Mr. Diesel £960 for that Winter jacket I liked. Also there's a TopMan inside Selfridges. My A helped me try all of their jackets and sweats but I was not in love to any of them.

My A was getting annoyed. Like an ugly hyena, My A nearly bit my ankle to drag me out of the mall; I could see murder on My A's face. I could just see it on My A's face.

So before my old fashioned life ends on that gloomy and cold Autumn afternoon, I told My A that we're going back to RiverIsland as I could hear that Military jacket calling me, via mental telepathy.

1625 hours.... But we passed by NEXT, You might find it predictable but I saw a black jacket in there that suited me well and the size was just comfy. I was already walking towards the pay section to pay for it but My A said I looked 10 years older than my age in that jacket.

I argued that because it's not what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I was adamant to pay for it... one more step and it would have been mine... that above the knee matrix like greyish black faux leather jacket... Then again, I let other people's comment affect my decision. I turned back, said my goodbyes and put him back on the rack.

1655 hours and 43 seconds. Back in RiverIsland. Good thing I did not swallow any sedatives that day or else I would have collapsed. I was tired, sleepy and heart broken. I felt guilty that I was already holding him but I put him back on the rack. I could only hope for MJ (Military Jacket)'s forgiveness.

And also I hope it's still there.

Alas! He was still in there. I tried him, then I noticed I didnt like the way they stitched the buttons. It was like a letter V. I didnt like it.... I told My A my concern....

Really Annoyed, My A was leading to the Dark Side. I got worried. I paid for that military jacket and took MJ home.

But it's really tight by the biceps area...

:(

Kris Jasper.